If they make a statement you don’t like, do not be tempted to immediately say “I disagree”; and please never say “you’re wrong” because they will react defending their pride and the process will begin to derail. While you are explaining the reasons why they are wrong, they will have stopped listening to you and will begun to look for a dozen other reasons to show you that the one who is wrong is you. If they do not find good reasons, they will defend themselves equally by attacking you. They will seek for any excuse to be right to save their pride.

If you don’t agree with them, ask a question. Do not argue. Direct the conversation with the right question. Do not waste your time highlighting what separates you. Look for what brings you close and thus you will avoid antagonism. The right questions are those that they will be happy to answer. Those are constructive questions that do not create resentment: “What criteria did you use?” “How did you calculate it to obtain that figure?” “Which of these two is a priority for you?” “What do you mean?” “Can I have a breakdown?”

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